culture shock

It is hilarious being with a brand new missionary so far into your mission, because you have totally forgotten about the weird quirks of the area you're in, until they come around and remind you. 

"GEEZ THESE STAIRS ARE SO STEEP! I'M GOING TO FALL ON MY FACE!" yells Sister N every time we encounter stairs. 

"Oh, yeah. I forgot that stairs are unnaturally steep here."

"WHY ARE THERE SO MANY SQUIRRELS HERE?" 

"Ugh. They're the rats of the east. I hate them." 

"WHY DON'T ANY NEW YORKERS BELIEVE IN FENCES?" 

"Guess property is all free game here." 

"We can't go through that door! That's INSIDE THEIR HOUSE!" exclaimed Sister N while tracting. 

"No it's not! It's their porch!' I said. 

"What do you mean it's their porch?" 

"People’s porches here are INSIDE. So you have to walk THROUGH the first door, and across their porch to get to their front door." 

"WHAT IS THE POINT OF THAT?" 

"BECAUSE IT GETS COLD AND PEOPLE LIKE PORCHES, I DON'T KNOW!" 

"Nobody wears shirts here." 

"Cause nobody wears garments." 

"Did you see his TEETH?" 

"He didn't have any."

"Wait, Sister N, don't use that door." 

"Why? It's their front door." 

"Yeah, but they don't use it." 

"What?" 

"Most people here use their side door. Look - the side door has a welcome mat." 

"But the front door has their mail box!" 

"Well, it doesn't make sense to me either but that's just what they do!" 

"Oh my gosh. EVERY door here is ridiculous! The screen door opens on the opposite side of the front door!" 

"....Wow. That's something I actually hadn't noticed." 

"WHY ARE THERE NO STREET LIGHTS? YOU CAN'T SEE ANYTHING!" 

"That is something I have wondered my whole 16 months here!" 

"IT'S FOGGY!" 

"It's foggy every morning, Sister N." 

"IT'S NASTY! THAT MEANS IT'S GOING TO SNOW." 

"No, it means it's New York. Hey! What's that guy taking a picture of?" 

"Probably the NASTY FOG!" 

"It's foggy EVERY MORNING! IT'S A NORMAL OCCURRENCE HERE!" 

"I think this is the first time I've seen the sun since I've gotten here." said Sister N, as we squinted at the unfamiliar sun. 

"Yeah....it's cloudy 90% of the time. I love it." 

"I hate it." 

"I have a sun allergy." 

"I can tan." 

"I. Smell. Awful." 

"You smell like a missionary." 

"I smell like SMOKE! And HOARDER! And POT! And animal AND human poop!" 

"You smell like a missionary." 

"I can't even smell my perfume anymore. And that's a problem!"

"You smell like a missionary." 

"I always wondered why missionaries park like idiots," said Sister N, "And now that I AM one, and I have to back you up? I understand their pain." 

That sums up about 90% of our conversations. 

It. Is. Hilarious.

This week was actually pretty good! 

And blasted insane. 

Seriously, guys. I haven't had a week this insane in a while. It's like the Lord is just throwing all sorts of weirdness at us so that Sister N gets used to it. 

First of all, our investigator relapsed this week.

But we went back the next day, and he had been reading/highlighting the addiction recovery program book. He talked about how he was scared to go to these meetings before, but now he can see how badly he needs these meetings, and how excited he is for them! He said he really feels like at these meetings he not only can help himself, but help others, too. 

We also started teaching a part member family! The wife is a member, and her husband and daughter are not, and they have both expressed a desire to get baptized! We had a couple of visits with them, and we ended up committing both of them to baptism! HURRAY! The date is still in the air, but it's gonna happen. 

We also got asked to go visit a family. I found myself clueless as to what approach to take with them. 

Then I had a brilliant idea! We'll ask for water, they'll let us in, we'll go in, get some water, and ask if we can share a lesson with them!

.....let me tell you what actually went down....

We go to the yard to see two little kids on push scooters eyeing us suspiciously. 

"HI! Is this your home??" I asked cheerfully. 

"Yes....." 

"Okay! Are your parents home?" 

"Yes......" 

...................................

"So....should I just knock on the door and ask for them?" I asked.

"I don't knoooow." 

And he shuffled away on his push scooter. 

I shrugged, and took a step towards the door, and tripped over a branch. 

We got to the front door, and I knock. 

The teenage son answered the door, opening it just enough for me to see his left eye. 

"HI! This is your house, right?" 

"Yeaaaah...." 

"We have a random question....um.....can we come in and get a drink?" 

"Of what? Water?" 

"Yeah." 

"Sure! I'll go get it." 

*slams door*

Sister N and I look at each other. 

"This is so uncomfortable," she said. "I think this is the most uncomfortable moment I've had on my mission." 

"Yeah, this didn't exactly go ask planned." 

The door opened again, and I see an arm poke out holding two water bottles. 

"Hey, thanks! Are your parents home?" 

"Yeah....but they're kind of asleep...." 

"Okay...."
I began to try to have small talk with him as the door began to close inch-by-inch until I could only see half of his left eye. 

"OKAY WELL WE'LL SEE YOU AT CHURCH BYE." I finally said. 

The door slammed quickly. 

"....now what part of that plan seemed like a good idea?" asked Sister N. 

"HEY! It's worked before!" 

They didn't say hi to us at church. 

It was awkward. 

And hilarious. 

Well, I love you all! Crazy to think I've been out 16 months. I have a lot of mixed feelings about that. 

Hurrah for Israel!

Sister Stimpson

My companion (From September 22)

Another week with so many big changes!

Seriously guys, I can't believe it's only been a week since I emailed you! So much happens in a mission it feels like ages ago!

The anticipation leading up to transfers was pretty good. I wasn't too nervous, and Sister H wasn't too terribly sad, until she had to say goodbye to everyone. I wasn't too nervous about training.....

until the car ride up. 

"WHAT IF I GET A WEIRD COMPANION?!" 

"YOU'RE GOING TO DO FINE!” shouted Elder B back. 

"WHAT IF I TOTALLY MESS UP?!" 

"Sister Stimpson. You actually KNOW how to do missionary work," said Elder G. 

"Sister Stimpson. You'll be fine." they all said multiple times. 

.......ten minutes later.....

"GUYS I'M GOING TO THROW UP!" 

"Are you car sick?" asked Sister H. 

"NO! I'M TRAINING!" 

"Oh my." 

We arrived at transfers, and all the trainers received training on how to be a trainer. 

"So are you guys nervous?" asked one of the assistants.
"HA!" I bursted. 

Everyone gave me a weird look. 

Hey, I just speak the truth. 

Now, here's how transfers work. Those who are training sit on one side of the chapel, and those who are being trained sit on the other side of the chapel. President stands at the podium and announces the trainer’s name. They stand, and then he announces the trainee's name, and they sit together in the middle of the chapel. 

The new trainees walked in. I automatically saw one with short, blonde hair walking in the middle of the crowd.

"I want that one." I mumbled to Sister L, who was sitting next to me, "Oh my gosh. I want to train her. OH my. Sister L, do you hear me?! I sound like I'm picking out a stupid puppy to raise."

"Don't worry, I'm doing the same thing." said Sister J, who was on the other side of me. 

 President began to announce the names, and I nervously kept my eyes glued to the blonde sister. I secretly cheered every time she didn't get picked. 

 It was like a bad gym class. 

 "Sister Stimpson," said President Wirthlin, and I stood up, "in Elmira, with Sister N." 

 Sister N, the blonde girl I had my eyes glued to stood up. 

 I secretly cheered inside again. 

 We hugged, got our picture taken, sat down, and my nerves seemed to go away. 

 The next few days were pretty good, and training wasn't as scary as I'd thought it would be! Sister N is from Utah and did a year of college before her mission. She is great, and I'm glad I get to be her companion!

And that she's not a weirdy. 

 Life's been full of adventures, and I wish I had more time to write about them. 

 Love you all!

 Hurrah for Israel!

this was my week

Man, guys. What a week this was! This weekend, all the missionaries and the ward got together to go visit the less active members who hadn't been visited in a while. Each of us would split up and go with one member, and we had a separate list of people to try. 

Sister H had quite a bit of luck of finding various less active members who were willing to be visited again! There were a couple part-member families, and one who had just gotten out of a rough patch in his life and wanted to come back to church!

.......I was able to leave a lot of notes on doors and found out that a lot of people have moved!

I also protected a ward member from a dog. The dog was completely friendly, the ward member was just scared of it. 

I felt like a hero. 

Elder F, however, had the best of luck. 

Now, I mentioned a couple emails earlier about our ward mission leader, and how buff/semi scary he is. Let me redescribe him to you: 

Eastern European. HUGE biceps, and just overall buff. Bald. Thick accent. He was in the army. 

He's just scary, okay? But you love him. But one time, he fist bumped me, and my knuckles hurt for daaaays!

He also has some sass. His name is Brother S. We call him Sassy S. 

He hates it.

So Elder F and Sassy S go to try a less-active member. They pull up to a house, to see an old man chasing a cat. 

"Oh no, that can't be it," said Elder F, and they kept driving, in vain hope that that wouldn't be it. 

After pulling a full circle, they discovered that it was....indeed....the house they needed. 

So they park around the corner, and walk up to a house. The next thing they know, a pellet whizzed past their head, and the old cat-chasing man walks up to them, holding a large pellet gun. And the man is completely intoxicated.

They ask for the less-active member they're looking for, and the man responds that the person moved, and proceeds to tell them how horrible of a man he was. 

He then launches into a number of tangents, and Elder F said that the guy kept using really big words incorrectly, so he didn't make much sense at all. 

The guy then goes into how horrible of a life he's had, and how his son snuck into the house, turned off the water, and cut out the pipes to sell for drug money. 

"AND THEN HE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE THE DECENCY TO TURN THE WATER BACK ON AFTER HE FINISHED CUTTING THE PIPES! HE JUST LEFT IT OFF! SO I WAS WITHOUT WATER!" yelled the guy. 

"Trust me, sir. He's doing you a favor." said Elder F. 

The drunk man then begins to cry, and stumbles over to Sassy S. He clasps Sassy S's hand and declares, "Sometimes....I just want Jesus to come. WHY CAN'T JESUS JUST COME AND TOUCH ALL THESE PEOPLE? AND HEAL THEM?" 

He then begins to sob. And sob. And sob. 

Awkwardly, Sassy S puts his arms around him and hugged him as the man cried and cried into his chest. 

"Well....we know we're on this earth to become like God," said Sassy S quickly, in his thick accent as he patted the man on the back, "and Christ can heal us. Through His atonement, we can be forgiven. And we can pray for help during sicknesses, and to overcome the sicknesses."

The man continues to sob. And after a while, Sassy S peels him off of his chest, Elder F handed him a pamphlet and their number, and they scurried off. 

"So how did it go?" we asked the Elders when they returned to the church, which was our meeting point.

"A drunk man cried in Sassy S's arms. I'd say it was a success."

"You've never let me cry in your arms!" said another ward member. 

This is why I thoroughly enjoy this area.

So....anyway....I came in contact with a lot of sober people this week! Yes, my friends, our investigator is STILL staying off of alcohol! AND he’s getting better and better. He has grown SO much spiritually, and loves the gospel. We've been able to meet with him pretty frequently, and whenever he gets excited about a scripture he read, he always texts us. 

Usually it consists of this: 

"[insert scripture he read here] WOW!"

"We love that scripture, too! It really shows how Christ truly loves us, and how he sacrificed his life so we could live with Him and Heavenly Father again!" (or something like that)

"WOW!" 

He is doing so great :)

Transfer calls were also this week!

Now, I think I mentioned before, how transfer calls are on Saturday, but if you're being called to a leadership position, you get your calls from President himself before anyone else. 

It was 10: 26 at night, I was just untucking my bed sheets to curl up into my warm, cozy little bed, when Sister H says, "The Mission Home is calling!" 

She runs and hands the phone to me. 

"Sister Stimpson! I want to talk to you privately." Said President Wirthlin. 

Sister H and I looked at each other. 

"Um...okay...." 

I stood in the closet and turned it off speakerphone. 

"Okay, President." I said. 

"I'm calling you to train a new missionary!" 

"Sweet!" 

"andi'dkeeptalkingtoyoubutit'slateandyourzoneleadersarecallingbackandineedtotakethisphonecall. Love you! Bye!" 

I stared at the phone and hung up, and left the closet. 

"What did he say?" 

"Elder G is going to be an assistant." 

"He told you that?" 

"No, he said he had to hang up cause he had to talk to our zone leaders. He's calling me to be a trainer." 

And her head immediately went down on her desk and she said, "Nooooooooooo! I don't want to leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeave!" 

I stared at her, unsure of what exactly would be the best way to comfort her. 

Then I patted her on the head a couple of times, before hugging her awkwardly. 

The next day, we got the rest of the news!

Sister H will be going to a city on the border of Canada. 

Helloooo, winter. 

Elder G will indeed be the next assistant. Called it!

Elder B is leaving, and Elder F will be in a trio with two visa waiters. 

Big changes going on here, folks. 

I'm pretty excited to train, but I've had a few freak outs. What if I don't train her right? What if I mess up? I don't know how to be a missionary! What if she doesn't like me?!

And I'm left to wonder if this is the same kind of anticipation new moms experience. 

Anyway. I'll leave at 6:30 in the blasted morning on Wednesday to pick up my new little trainee. 

Okay, right now I'm nervous. 

But I'm also excited. 

Yup. 

LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!

Hurrah for Israel!

Sista' Stimpson

a weekly letter!

So it was one of our less active member's birthday, and to celebrate, we took her some nice flowers. Later, we told the Elders that we did that and Elder F said, "Well, it's my birthday tomorrow. Aren't you gonna get me flowers?" 

"Probably not," we said. 

"He seems like a white roses kind of guy," said Elder G. 

"No, no. I prefer wild flowers." said Elder F. 

The next day, it was another less active member's birthday, so we went to go get her cupcakes. We walk into Wal Mart, when we pass the flowers. 

Sister H and I look at each other. 

The next thing we know we're purchasing cupcakes and white daisies. 

Sister H then went all out and picked some wild flowers in the middle of a grassy patch on the side of the road. 

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" I yelled to her as I stood in the shade. 

"PICKING SOME WILD FLOWERS TO GO WITH THE DAISIES!" 

We then went to the church, filled up the water pitcher, and arranged a nice bouquet of white daisies and wild flowers, left a picture of Jesus, and texted them saying their birthday present was in the kitchen. 

About an hour and a half later, they call us. 

"We're looking everywhere for it!" they said, "The cupboards, the fridge, the sink....seriously, where is it?"

"What are you talking about?" we said, "It's right on the counter!" 

"Stale taco shells?"
"NO! Daisies! White daisies!" we said.

"....there's only stale taco shells and a pitcher full of water....oh I see a couple flower petals in the water." 

...........

"SOMEBODY TOOK YOUR WHITE DAISIES?!" 

"I guess so....but hey....there's a picture of Jesus!" 

"WHO JUST TAKES SOMEBODY’S WHITE DAISIES?!" 

"I don't know!" 

After being furious about it for a good few minutes, we ended up just picking a random array of wild flowers and berries and giving it to him at church. 

But the mystery of the stolen white daisies remains....

Seriously guys, who does that?

Anyway! It's been such a great week! Our investigator has now been sober for a week! 

Seriously. This is a big deal. He's doing so well!

The week before he stopped drinking, the three of us sat on his front lawn and talked about it with him. He talked about how much of a toll it is in his life, and how his body and mind can't handle the alcohol anymore. 

He set his own date to quit drinking. We talked with him about how he needs to replace the bad with the good in his life. He can't just take it out, but he needs to surround himself with good, especially since the temptation is going to be there. 

He's still working on Sundays, and we're praying that he'll be able to find a way to get them off, because right now it seems nearly impossible. However, he's been reading the Book of Mormon daily, he's been coming to the Book of Mormon class that all the missionaries in our unit have every week, and he's been coming to the addiction recovery program the church has. 

He is progressing so well, and he is really making progress. Tonight we are having Family Home Evening with him at another member's home! I am so excited!

Met with another couple of interesting ones this week. Gotta love them. The elders ran into a man who used to meet with missionaries in Pennsylvania before he moved to Elmira. He had been praying to "meet the Mormons" when the elders turn around the corner and approached him! 

He lives in our area, so they referred him to us. 

We show up to his house, and knock on the door. An older gentleman answers the door and gives a big, ol' grin. He talked about how excited he is to meet us! He also told us about how he used to be a missionary where he lived before. 

"Oh really? That's cool! For what church?" we asked him.

"You guys! The Latter-day Saints!" 

"....ooooh...."

We'll see how our lesson with him on Wednesday goes. 

Our investigator couple are stuck in a pattern. So, here's how it's been for the past several weeks: 

AN AMAZING LESSON WITH THEM! THE SPIRIT IS SO STRONG! THEY WANT TO BE BAPTIZED. 

They cancel next appointment day of. 

We randomly show up later in the week. 

HEY IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU! WE'RE BUSY! So come back later. 

We come back later. We're able to have a lesson with them!

AN AMAZING LESSON WITH THEM! THE SPIRIT IS SO STRONG! THEY WANT TO BE BAPTIZED. 

They cancel next appointment day of. 

We randomly show up later in the week. 

HEY IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU! WE'RE BUSY! So, come back later. 

And on.....and on.....

Basically we're trying to figure out how to make this pattern end. 

We will find a WAY!  

This transfer has absolutely flown by. We get transfer calls this Saturday. I am really curious what will happen! 

And I really can't believe I only have two transfer calls left :/ 

What's happening to the time?? Wasn't it just May of 2013?

Anyway. I feel like this letter is totally lame. Sorryyyyy. 

Love you all so much!

Hurrah for Israel!

Sista Stimpson

15

Let me describe to you the majority of this week: 

I had such a bad head cold my face felt like it was going to explode. 

Here's basically what happened. 

Sunday, we talk to a girl in the ward who said she wasn't feeling too good. 

Then without thinking I hugged her. 

And it all went downhill from there. 

I woke up Tuesday morning with a sore throat, so I chugged some Emergen-C in the vain hopes of it working out. 

Wednesday I woke up and I couldn't breathe out of my nose. 

Thursday I ended up sleeping until 11:30, then woke up and felt like my head was going to explode. The good thing was our Sister Training Leader was spending three days with us, so Sister H and our Sister Training Leader went out, and a ward member stayed with me while I slept the world away. 

Friday I went out teaching and sat there like a bump on a log while Sister S and Sister H did all the teaching, and I focused on trying to breathe out of my mouth, even though the person we were teaching was smoking. 

It made things complicated. 

Later that day, the member we had dinner with gave me a bunch of medication. She kept opening her medicine cabinet, handing me something, then turning back and saying, "Let's see.....what ELSE can we give you?" 

Finally her husband had to hold the cabinet shut and say, "Honey. Stop." 

Saturday I was functionable....kind of.....but I COMPLETELY lost my voice during a lesson. I tried to speak like, three different times but all that came out was this horrendous sounding squeaking noise. Like a bad doggy toy. And by then our Sister Training Leader was gone so I just kind of prayed that Sister H would do all of the talking.

That night, the Elders showed up to give us our August Ensign magazine. (About time.) I stared at them with a snotty nose, two clogged ears, and said in my manly low voice, "Guys.....can I get a priesthood blessing tomorrow? I'm like....super sick."

They agreed, and I went inside and took two NyQuil. 

Then I woke up at 3 in the morning with a bloody nose. 

And got dizzy when I saw all the blood everywhere. 

Seriously what's up with me and blood?! 

Sunday came, and I was doing okay. The ward member who gave me all the medication hugged me ("No, no! don't hug me! you'll get sick!" "Ooooh I'm not going to worry about that.") and asked how I was doing, and offered me more medicine if I needed it. 

I shook my ward mission leader’s hand and said hello. 

"Are you sick?" 

"Yes." 

"Do you have vitamins?" 

"Yeah, some vitamin D. I'll buy some C tomorrow." 

"No. Come by my house, and I'll give you some tonight. Okay?" 

The dude is from the Czechoslovakia. He used to be in the army. His arms are the size of a baby’s head. I am NOT about to oppose him. 

"Okay." 

After church, the elders gave me a blessing, and guys. It was seriously a really, really cool experience. 

I don't want to go into too much detail about it, but it was one of the most spiritual blessings I've received, and afterwards, I could feel that I had more energy. 

We went on throughout the day, and my energy level remained high. We taught a lesson to our amazing investigator (the one who was previously drunk), and he has set the goal of being completely sober starting.....hey! today, actually! I didn't lose my voice at all, either :) 

By the end of the night, my throat wasn't sore anymore, my ears were clear, and my nose was only a tiny bit stuffy. 

It was seriously incredible. 

I found myself wishing that everyone knew that this really is the true gospel, so that they could have experiences as amazing as this. 

Because, seriously. No other power but God's power could've healed me. 

And I really, really wish everyone could understand how true this gospel is. 

I am seriously so grateful for the atonement of Christ and His priesthood power :)

Things are going well here in Elmira. We've been able to hit our missionary standards the last 3 weeks! We hope to keep finding new people to teach, though. 

I love you all so much! It's crazy to me that I've been out 15 months. It doesn't feel like that long at all. 

Loves!

Hurrah for Israel!

Sista' Stimpson