11 Months

So we pull up to a less active member's house, and the first thing I see is various chickens and ducks scattering every which way. I hear a rooster call as I get out of the car, and I see our 70-year-old less active member, running around with a chainsaw.

"........Brother M, what on earth are you doing?!"

He jumped when he saw us and said, "My chickens got loose while I was cutting down a tree! I got all of them back in except one!"

"Oh.....do you want help?"

And I start waddling towards a duck, my arms outstretched in vain hopes of catching it.

Cause you know, a duck is almost a chicken. 

"Oh no, it's fine."

The rooster crowed again and I said, "But hey! Your rooster sounds like it's doing good! Though you'd think he'd get sick of saying the same thing over and over again. It's like I'd get tired if all I could say was 'potato.' Pretty sure I'd just stop talking. But no. The rooster keeps going."

"Well he makes a different sound when a fox is attacking him."

"....................hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"

He invited us in, and as Sister L and I sat while he turned off the TV, I pondered on the conversation we had just had.

And realized that I just have a knack for saying the weirdest things.

This week was a'ight. It's been a battle of optimism. It has now been six weeks since I've taught a lesson to an investigator, and I feel like Sister L and I have exhausted all our finding efforts. Sometimes I'm left to wonder what more we could be doing. I'm happy, but MAN it's been hard to stay optimistic when we haven't taught a single lesson to an investigator in FOREVER.

This week, we had the opportunity to set up a table at the local college - Skidmore College. We made a big poster portraying the Plan of Salvation, had a laptop with Mormon messages playing, various pamplets laid out, and completed it with a bowl of tootsie rolls! It was a lot of fun!

The first day, two student came up to us. One of them pointed at the Book of Mormon we had and said, "Hey! I saw that musical!"

"Cool! Now do you want the real thing?" we asked.

We gave him and his friend a copy, and they asked what exactly it was about.

"It's a record of the prophets here in America. It takes place at the same time as the Bible, but just has writings of the people who were living on this continent. It goes hand-in-hand with the Bible."

"Wait.....there were people here? Like before the Native Americans?"

"No, no! This is an account of the Native American's ancestors."

"WOAH."

After explaining some about the plan of salvation, and about how we are here on earth to experience joy and prepare to meet Heavenly Father again, they took a few pamplets and sat down. We ate tootsie rolls and watched as they both sat with their friends. We heard them explain the premise of the Book of Mormon, and flip through it together with their friends.

Later, the guy who originally came up to us was sitting with some basketball players. One basketball player started to leave, and another one turned to the guy who we had talked to and said, "You need Jesus, man!" The basketball player turned around and shouted across the whole room, "THAT'S WHY HE'S GOT A BOOK OF MORMON! TO HAVE JESUS WITH HIM!"

We laughed, and our guy turned around and gave us a thumbs up. Later he showed us the Book of Mormon and told us he'd bring it to the basketball game with him.

Hope he read it during half time or something.

It was too great.

The other day we were visiting with a woman. We walk in and sit down, and she's watching some movie from the 80's. So we ask, "May we turn that off?"

Then she whips out this HUUUUUUUGE pile of cash and says, "No, no, no. I have to focus on counting this cash and I can NOT be distracted!"

Because, you know, keeping the loud TV on to help you focus makes logical sense.

So she starts counting the cash.

And she lost count.

Four. Times.

Finally Sister L and I started counting with her and holding up our fingers.

"20....40.....60....80......100.....20........40.......60.....80......20......"

"NO. NO YOU'RE ON TWO HUNDRED."

"200! 20.........40.............60.........80...................oh no I lost count."

"NO. NO YOU'RE ON THREE HUNDRED."

"Well I already combined the pile so now I'm starting over."

.....twenty minutes later she FINALLY had the cash compiled. She placed it in a box, placed the box in a box, and placed THAT box in another box. (Yes. I thought of Emperor's New Groove.) As she sealed it shut, she said, "Oh no.....how much money did I count?"

She began to open the box again when we shouted the total.

"Oh okay."

She put the box aside and said, "Well. Now that I have all THAT figured out, I can finally come back to church!"

"..............Great!"

She still hasn't come.

If she wasn't a senior citizen, I'd suspect she was up to something.......suspicious.

Well it appears I'm out of time.

I love you all so much!

Hurrah for Israel!

Sista Stimpson